Mr. Publisher, I am writing you at the suggestion of a mutual friend.
Forgive my style; I am not extremely well educated as you are and I am always in the eye of the hurricane when things go catastrophically wrong. I know how to remain calm.
I understand you are a busy person, raising eyebrows only at the beginning of letters to you. Every profession has its peculiarities. I am writing to share my observations over a territory inhabited with wicked joy and irresponsible people. Why? I am having a proposal.